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I wrote this prayer this morning as a result of 21 evenings spending 15 minutes in silent contemplation just before sleeping, just being with the question of forgiving myself. I would write down the thoughts that came, beginning each sentence with, ‘I forgive myself for…’

This morning, on waking, I wanted to pull those thoughts together into a single prayer that I could use. This is what I wrote:

Dear Beloved,

May I accept who I am with joy and gratitude. Though I may dream of being someone more, better, different, you have made me who I am. May I trust you had your reasons:-)

May I forgive the suffering I have caused, and that I feel myself, for both guilt and blame are poisons, not antidotes. May I use my understanding of suffering and its causes to create less of it.

May I transform my fears into an inner fire that powers me through and beyond my limitations, and banish the illusory outer fire that fences me in and threatens to burn. Let faith sooth and inspire.

May I use the gifts you have given me wholly and wisely, instead of asking for others, and labeling my own too easy, too boring, too unhelpful to the world. These labels just show that I’ve not fully explored or understood my gifts yet. Let me do so now, with your guidance, that your light may shine its way, through me, to wherever its needed