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P1040354A photo pf me taken by my Dad when he visited here last Summer, and we took a walk by the river…

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โ€œPlant your life full

of opportunities for God to gift you

for in receiving you gather the divine tools

of creativity

and in giving you use them

to build that world you’ve only dreamed of.”

– Harula Ladd:-)

Week 34, and one where I’ve reflected a lot on this whole Good Deeds, giving and receiving thing, and I’d like to share an insight with you. There’s a big, but subtle, difference between needing to be needed and wishing to serve and contribute. It’s about power and self-worth. Needing others to need you in a ‘they can’t do it themselves’ kind of way is taking power from another’s current ‘weakness’ in order to add a few points to your own sense of self-worth. This is unequal, unsustainable and ultimately unhealthy. The desire to serve is one of wishing to empower and support another to find their own strength, creativity and beauty. A leg up not a hand out, to borrow a phrase.

There’s sooooo much more I could say on this but the point is, I now have a greater awareness of this pairing and I can be more aware of where I’m coming from in any particular moment. I don’t need to beat myself up if I slip into ‘needing to be needed’ but I can make the choice, when I notice that, to shift my attitude, because that’s all it takes. It’s not about changing the action – it’s about changing the heart that’s inspiring that action. A heart that’s warm, fulfilled and overflowing will serve. A heart that’s scared, unsure and needing reassurance and love will find a ‘project’ to make it feel better. I speak from personal experience, and not in judgement.

My ongoing and ever increasing thanks to…

http://rosieamber.wordpress.com

the inspiration for these posts.

For other Good Deeds posts I’ve written, including the original, please check out:

https://wordsthatserve.wordpress.com/good-deed-weeks/

Sunday 5th January

Drove my brother down to England, leaving at 6am in the pitch black in temperatures as low as -4c and arriving at 4pm beneath bright(ish) skies to a temperature of 9c, and an inner temperature of much greater warmth as my sister welcomed us both to her new flat, with the Christmas tree still standing just for us. Yep – a lot can change is 500 miles, though however much I love my brother and the Proclaimers, you won’t catch me walking it!!!:-)

AND good deed(s) received:

My sister treated us to a Chinese takeaway, and my niece came over to share the meal with us too, despite being very tired and not feeling a 100% well. My brother said I was a safe driver:-)

Monday 6th January

Drove my brother the last leg, another 1.5 hours, helped him unload his luggage, and left him to settle in. Bought some Body Shop body butter for my Mum (we don’t have a Body Shop near us, and she loves it) and a plug (!) for my sister’s kitchen sink:-)

AND good deed(s) received:

My sister was so appreciative of the simple omelette I cooked for her because she never gets cooked for at the moment.

Tuesday 7th January

I responded with an immediate YES to the place where I’ve booked to do a work retreat in February. They asked me to do an extra week because they’d had a cancellation. Made my sister laugh as I made up various ‘rituals’ with the dice as we played backgammon – I sang to them, yeehhaa’d them like a cow boy and spoke softly to them of my wishes…it must’ve worked. I won!!!

AND good deed(s) received:

My sister gave me the gift of the most amazing conversation, which touched on everything to current issues in the family, to family history and patterns and dreams and hopes and plans for the future…it was sooooo wonderful. I realised how much I’d missed her. We hadn’t seen each other in a year…

Wednesday 8th January

Drove back up to Scotland and picked up litter in the service stations I stopped at on the way.

AND good deed(s) received:

Mum had a roaring fire going and a pot of hot soup waiting when I arrived:-)

Thursday 9th January

While cleaning for a friend, I offered to take home a pillow case that had ripped at the seam (but didn’t tell him that actually it was me who had accidentally pulled it a bit too hard!) so I could ask Mum (whose an expert with a sewing machine) to mend it. He was very appreciative! Sent a belated thank you email to a friend for her Christmas gift, and liked and commented on her most recent blog post.

AND good deed(s) received:

Got an email from my Dad, recommending an interesting travel blog. Was warmly welcomed by the friend I clean for.

Friday 10th January

Sent a notebook and a surprise to a dear blogging friend! Made a card and wrapped some little gifts for a friend’s birthday. Had a very honest conversation with Mum about the future. Offered to buy pineapples for Mum’s juice bar as she’s got a sore shoulder and they’re heavy!

AND good deed(s) received:

Got a lovely hug and a supportive listening ear from a colleague, and understanding and acceptance from Mum after an uncomfortable but necessary conversation.

Saturday 11th January

Brought a cup of tea over to my mother and her business partner as they were having a busy day, and didn’t want to leave the Creperie. Wrote a long overdue email to my Dad, and included a couple of book recommendations. If you haven’t read ‘The Art of Hearing Heartbeats’ please do so. It’s incredibly beautiful and life affirming, and contains a sentence that literally took my breath away for several seconds, because I actually felt what it said for a moment. I don’t think I’ve ever had quite such an experience when reading…

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Hearing-Heartbeats-Jan-Philipp-Sendker/dp/184697240X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389515256&sr=8-1&keywords=the+art+of+hearing+heartbeats

AND good deed(s) received:

A neighbour left a bag of newspapers for lighting the fire by our front door, not knowing that a friend whose house I’m moving into for three weeks on Monday had sent me a text the day before saying she was almost out of newspaper and could I bring some when I came! Synchronicity or what???!!! Two people approached me and said how much they’d enjoyed my poem A re-feathering, which I’d shared in our weekly community magazine, with one woman saying it was just what she’d needed to read in that moment, and how she was going to keep it where she could read it whenever she needed to. That’s why I write…

ย Have a great week my friends:-)

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