‘No Pepper, stay on the path please!’ I call out to my dog, who’s desperate to dive into the unknown undergrowth and see what’s living there. She’s actually pretty good, and usually listens, but sometimes excitement takes over and I find myself having to raise my voice or make it deep and low, so she knows how serious I am(!). And I am serious – because there’s quite a lot of game round here, which means game keepers with guns who’d really rather a loose dog didn’t interfere with their livestock.
As I was calling Pepper back to the path yet again, it got me thinking. Who’s keeping me on the path? Who’s directing me? Who’s making sure I don’t wander off too far, or get lost? My life is made up of many paths, but the two main ones are the path of being a writer and the path of…well, let’s just say I’m trying to become more aware. So what does life/love/God/the Universe do when I’m off into the undergrowth? As I asked myself this question I was struck by a forbidding sense of aloneness. The infinite freedom was too much and I wished, just for one tiny moment I wished, that God would give up on this free will thing and take me in hand. Tell me what to do and make me do it!
Today, Pepper and I found a new strategy. She loves chasing and catching her ball. What dog doesn’t? So I brought it along on our walk and threw it on the path ahead. She ran, scrambled, jumped, dived. It was as if there were nothing else in the world but the ball and the one who threw it. Staying on the path had just become fun, a joy. I was laughing and smiling, welcoming her back as she raced towards me to return the ball for another throw. She was getting more exercise and my deep and serious voice didn’t get a look in.
What’s my ball? When staying on the path becomes uncomfortable, boring, scary, overwhelming…what can I do to make it easy again? What can I do to re-find the innate joy? How can I re-remember that I write because I love to write and I explore my inner worlds because I want to understand myself better so I can be more useful to the world. Or maybe it’s not a ball I need. Maybe I need to find a ‘Harula’, with a deep serious voice and a strong lead. Ok, no, it’s definitely a ball I want:-)
I stepped back onto one lane in my writing path this morning (which lead in fact to quite a lot more writing…funny that…), and chose the Angel of Balance for today’s acrostic (yeah I know, who says Angels don’t have a sense of humour…I take the hint!). I’ve decided this will be the last one I will include in a post, but I will be adding them to the page I created whenever I write them so if you’re interested you can check in there, every now and then. So here goes…
B aking requires accurate measurements
A nd the oven temperature must be just right
L est the cake, well, flop!
A re you baking your life well?
N either too much nor too little of this and that?
C an you pay the bills and find time for fun to?
E very recipe could do with a tweek now and then…